This is very important. Self image is heavily influenced by relationships so you need to select your relationships very carefully. The company you keep has a dramatic effect on your self esteem and on your confidence.
1 Corinthians 15:33 “Bad company corrupts good character.” Parents tell their kids that all the time. If you want to soar with the eagles, you can’t run with the turkeys. You’ve got to select your friends wisely. They have a big influence on your life.
Charlie Brown is the world’s greatest loser. It is very clear why he’s such a loser. Lucy! Lucy is always telling Charlie Brown what is wrong with him, why his idea is dumb. In one cartoon she said, “You, Charlie Brown, are a foul ball in the line drive of life. You stand in the shadow of your own goal post. You are a miscue. You are three putts on the eighteenth green. You are a seven-ten split in the tenth frame. You’re a missed free throw, a called third strike. You are a dropped rod and reel in the lake of life. Do you understand me, Charlie Brown? Have I made myself clear?” With friends like Lucy, who needs enemies?
The Lucys in your life will damage your self- image with their insults and their put downs. This may sound negative but it would seem there are some people who see as their mission in life to put you down. You can’t insulate yourself from these people but you can limit your exposure to them. Choose the right friends.
5. HAVE A PROPER FOCUS
If you want to be confident, you need to find a cause greater than being self-centered. A worthy goal will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Make something of your life.
Matthew 16:25-26 “For anyone who keeps his life for himself shall lose it. And anyone who loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be if a person gains the whole world, yet forfeits his own soul?” Jesus is talking. He’s saying we discover ourselves when we give ourselves away.
Self confidence is definitely not self-centeredness. There’s a difference. Self centeredness leads to insecurity. You need to be self confident without being self centered. How do you do that? You give your life away to a great cause, a great purpose.
Invest your life. Don’t waste it, don’t spend it. Invest your life in a cause that is greater than yourself.
6. DEVELOP A DEEP TRUST IN GOD
Jeremiah 17:7-8 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and has made the Lord his hope and confdence. He is like a tree planted along a river bank with roots reaching deep into the water, not bothered by the heat, nor worried by long months of drought it stays green and goes on producing fruit.”
Life is difficult. It’s tough. This passage happens to mention two kinds of difficulties. Heat and drought. Heat, I think, are the sudden crises of life. Heat comes on suddenly. The accident. The cancer. The death. Somebody walks out of your life. The earthquake. How do you handle it when the heat is on in your life?
Then there is drought. Long periods of time when you must go without something you feel you need. You’re out of work. You’re out of income. You’re out of energy. You’re doing without. How do you handle those kinds of things?
Notice three words: trust, hope, confidence. He says “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and has made the Lord his hope and confidence.” He’s talking about a relationship with God. When you trust in God, you’re having a relationship to God. The result is you won’t be bothered by these things.
This guy is like a tree and he keeps on blooming even in the middle of heat and in the middle of drought and the reason he is not bothered is that his roots go down into the Lord. He has faith in God.
What is the source of your confidence? Perhaps you are trusting in your career. You’ve got it made, you’re on the fast track, things are going great. When you’re hot, you’re hot! But when you’re not, you’re not.
To have unshakable confidence, you must put your confidence in something that can never, ever be taken from you. And there’s only one thing that can never be taken from you, your relationship sith God through Jesus. It can never be taken.
That’s how you grow in confidence.