It doesn’t matter what age or stage of life you are in. If you are a parent and you want to know how to better connect with your children. If you are engaged or married and you want to know how to better relate to that other person, you can use these principles. If you are a teacher or an employer or employee, no matter who you are, if you need to get close to anybody in life, you need these principles.
I want to give you three tips that you can use to build better relationships.
1. LIVE BY THE GOLDEN RULE.
In other words, if you want to connect with people, you’ve got to start with their needs not your own. The Bible says in Philippians 2:4 “Look out for one another’s interests not just your own.” Your default mode is to think about your needs, your desires, your goals, your ambitions, what you want in life. As a result we have many, many millions of people disconnected because everybody is self-centered and not being considerate other people’s needs.
Let me share with you two very basic truths about life. First, you are not the center of the universe. I know that’s shocking, but the world does not revolve around you. You’re very special in God’s eyes. You were created for a purpose… but the world does not revolve around you. Don’t be expecting the whole world to come saying, “How can we meet your needs?”
The second basic truth of life is God has promised that when you focus on meeting the needs of other people, He guarantees He will meet yours. This is one of the most basic principles in the Bible. Why? Because He wants me to learn to be unselfish and generous like Him. Colossians 3:13 says this, “You must make allowances for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember God forgave you so you must forgive others.”
A woman wrote to Dear Abby, “I’m 44 years old. I’d like to find a man my age with no bad habits.” Abby wrote back, “So would I.” My wife got the only man like that (Just kidding, of course!). There are no people with no bad habits, no faults. We have to make allowance for each other’s faults.
When you are trying to make a connection with a person, you’re trying to be considerate of their needs; I’m not saying that you don’t see their faults. You just choose to overlook them.
Tip #1: Treat your friends the way you would like to be treated.