Probably a better title would have probably been TAKING ADVICE because getting advice doesn’t lead to wisdom. Those with wisdom know how to seek out the right kind of advice, and have the ability to take advice.
Actually, getting advice is easy. All you have to do is go to Wal-Mart with a baby. People will stop you and tell you how to raise it. In mid-July they’ll say things to you like, “I can’t believe you brought that baby out without a coat on!” or “If you let that baby suck her thumb like that she’ll get buck-teeth.” You get the idea.
Another easy way to get advice is to coach a little league team. Even though the team has won two consecutive championships, there are always more than a few people who think they know better how to put a winning team together. (Their advice usually involved more playing time for their kid.)
The point is: There’s tons of advice out there, and plenty of people more than willing to offer it to you. The problem is this: most unsolicited advice is worth what you paid for it. And taking the wrong advice can get you in trouble.
If you are in the process of getting it together and keeping it together, you will need to fine-tune the art of taking advice. Everyone needs advice, and the book of Proverbs tells us it is absolutely essential to take advice in order to succeed in life. Solomon said…
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.
I offer three pieces of advice (couldn’t resist) that will help you know how to get good advice and use it. First of all, when you seek advice, you have to…
1. Be Selective.
Proverbs 14:7 (NLT) Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips. In other words, stay away from people who want to tell you how to run an area of your life that they’re unable to manage themselves. For instance, you don’t ask me how to do home improvements. Before you go to someone for advice, this is what you need to look for…
a. Look for someone who’s “been there, done that”
Find someone who faced the same kind of challenge you’re facing now—and faced it successfully. And then ask them how they did it.
b. Find someone who has your best interests at heart.
When you ask for advice, you are putting yourself in somewhat of a vulnerable position. You need to be sure this person has your best interests at heart, that he or she isn’t advising you with a self-serving, hidden agenda.
2. Be Receptive.
One of the main reasons we hesitate to ask for advice is that we are afraid of hearing what we don’t want to hear.
In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon said… It is better to be a poor but wise youth than to be an old and foolish king who refuses all advice. Ecclesiastes 4:13 TLB
The biggest mistakes I have made in my life are the decisions I made unadvisedly. The greatest challenges I face right now can be traced to a stubborn refusal to seek good advice. Solomon said… The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.
When you seek advice, you have to be completely open to the advice you’re about to receive. Be willing consider the counsel even if you don’t want to hear. When it comes to getting advice, you need to be selective, you need to be receptive, and thirdly, you need to…
3. Be Objective
You’ve got to understand that no one person in the world has all the answers. There’s not one human person you can go to for advice on everything, all the time. Besides, getting advice isn’t about letting other people make your decisions for you. Getting advice is the process of getting an objective view of your problem so that you can make the right decision. The decision you make belongs to you. Even if you follow someone’s advice, it doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for your actions. It’s your decision. You’re the one that has to live with the consequences. So you better make sure you have an objective view of your situation.
You have to live with it. You have to face the consequences and/or reap the rewards. So make sure you get an objective view of the problem.
As you can see, going to a counselor or asking a friend for advice is just about the greatest compliment you could offer someone. So, make sure the person is deserving of the compliment.
I urge to seek advice before trying to tackle any major problem or decision on your own. And when you seek advice, you need to ask yourself the following questions:
• Has this person “been there done that”?
• Does this person have my best interests at heart?
• Will this person tell me what I need to hear, not just what I want to hear?
• Can this person be one of a group of trusted friends to help me develop an objective view of my life?
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